On Traffic Jams

Yesterday I was stuck in traffic for two hours in Pennsylvania. At first it wasn’t so bad because I had a box full of cereal bars and an awesome CD I found in my center console that Matt K made me a while back. After the first half hour, I started to get a little anxious because it became apparent that this wasn’t a minor “rubber necking” matter and I had to urinate, or I should say spike a serious piss. Another half hour passed, and the songs on the CD no longer cheered me up. I became mad at every lyric blaring from my speakers as if those talented poetic souls were the ones that intentionally filled my bladder during the traffic jam from hell. I looked to my left, an old married couple looked at me with the same discomfort and I mouthed to them, “I have to pee.” They laughed and nodded enthusiastically which made me laugh in return and gave me the courage I needed. So I sat there, and as the left lane inched by and the married couple disappeared, an Asian man was now next to me. I sat there as I peed in a water bottle and smiled at him. He smiled back clueless, and waved. Moral of the story and a life lesson I think we all need to come to terms with: Sometimes when people are smiling at you, they really could just be pissing.

Continue Reading →